mono_blanco ([info]mono_blanco) wrote,
@ 2007-10-21 19:27:00
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Current location:Home (Cave Manse 1)
Current mood: relaxed
Current music:Rogers Sisters - Fantasies Are Nice

Saitin cometh. Srsly
So, like, the Santa Ana winds are picking up again; No big surprise, as this is the traditional time of year that God once again tries to wipe the Blight-That-Is the Northridge/Chatsworth urban sprawl off the map. Driving in from Pasadena early this morning (probably around 5:00 AM or so) the gale-force winds (39-45mph) attempted to dislodge my trusty Saturn from the road with such strident effort that on multiple occasions my bespectacled co-pilot, the ever interminable el_pinko_grande exclaimed through a cloud of pomade, "We're in a tight bind!" White knuckled at the helm of my precious Old Girl, a 2005 Saturn Ion Redline with all the trimmings, I calmly intoned through gritted teeth, "There's a good boy, El Libertario, no mere low pressure zone will down two explorers as intrepid as we. Now keep your attention focused on the Nav Markers, lest we follow these satanic gusts... Into Hell!" A solitary bead of cold sweat trailed down my brow, the only indication that I too was not completely secure in the safety of the Old Girls' vacuum gaskets.

Despite a few tense moments when the Old Girl drifted into oncoming traffic
we made it to Cave Manse 1 with little drama to speak of.


Cut to this morning. I'm out and about doing all the cosmopolitan things I do before I'm fully awake on the weekends and I see not one... Not two... But three trees uprooted, their dirty fingers of water-finding aimed naughtily towards traffic in a tawdry display of their inability to keep themselves decently ensconced within the Earth. Actually, one of the uprooted trees on Tampa looked to have snapped at the base, and was taking up both lanes of the side of the street it inhabited with it's death throws.

In the parking lot of the Winnetka 20 a lamp post had fallen over, staving in the lights on one side and spraying the parking lot around the impact with a half-moon of broken glass and sundered metal. The most impressive part of this lamps final moments was not the destruction it caused to itself in it's fall (although that was pretty impressive) but the speed with which it was cleaned up. Not a half hour after I witnessed the 40' pole's point of collapse, it was all cleaned up except for some warning tape and some remaining shards of powdered glass debris.

I only hope my own death will leave as little impact.

Except I'm fairly sure the three tons of TNT I'm saving up will at least leave a crater. My will states my death has to be posted to Youtube, so I'll make sure someone posts it here.


Cut to Tonight. It was dusk, and the sun was completely obscured by the mountains ringing the San Fernando Valley as I drove down the 118 to the Urban Sprawl that is Porter Ranch. It was that happy point between dusk and night when there's still enough light to see by but everything is suffused in a quiet blue glow that seems to calm everything.

Everything except the angry dark strip of sky hanging immediately over the Northridge/Porter Ranch area, roiling and grasping like the very hand of God trying to claw his way out of a meat-hell and get back to the heavens. It was spectacular. In the few minutes of clear visibility I could actually watch the Santa Anas dragging the collected sediment of the summer months out of the Santa Ana pass and drag it through the San Fernando Valley towards Los Angeles. I imagine it looks something like this:


If you have allergies and will be anywhere near the San Fernando Valley in the next few days, I pity you. I really do. Godspeed.

Oh, and this is apparently what happens when you drive a big-rig in the kind of weather we've been having:




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[info]mono_blanco
2007-10-22 09:07 am UTC (link)
It would be totally cool if I completely missed my own death, and just kept on living because nobody told me. That would be EXACTLY how I see me dying.

It also sounds like a kinda cool short story.

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[info]melchoir
2007-10-22 07:17 pm UTC (link)
Amazing enough, i wouldnt be shocked if that happened. I imagine u waking up one day and go, "wtf? what u doing in my bed... oh i'm married?" Whilest completely missing chucks of ur life due to the apathetic life style u have.

Though it be fun to watch ur death on YT, it might be the makings of an odd teen horror... Evil YT kills hawt teens.

As for the wind, well, personally i believe the valley needs to be cleaned once in awhile, the Santa Anas are like the Divine Enema of San Fernando.

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[info]mono_blanco
2007-10-22 08:02 pm UTC (link)
Awww, you think I'm a hawt teen? Andy, that's so sweet.

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[info]melchoir
2007-10-22 08:18 pm UTC (link)
I meant the YT horror flick would have hawt teens...

U, my friend are easy on the eye, but r a teen no more.

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[info]el_pinko_grande
2007-10-22 08:34 pm UTC (link)
Did Andy just toss you in the long-in-the-tooth bin? Lucky you if he did, cause he also threw Famke Jannsen and Monica Belluci in there.

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[info]melchoir
2007-10-22 08:56 pm UTC (link)
Oh i never said Monica Belluci is old, i just said i didnt find her attractive, at any age. Famke definitely had younger days of glory. And yes, welcome to u 30s. Well in 10 month-ish.

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[info]mono_blanco
2007-10-22 10:01 pm UTC (link)
Meh. The Cart Boy at the grocery store thought I looked amazingly good for someone my age.

Then he offered me a BJ.

I politely turned him down, but surruptitiously pointed him in el_pinko_grande's direction.

Friends are hard to find, so sometimes you have to turn up a good thing to keep them around.

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[info]el_pinko_grande
2007-10-22 10:24 pm UTC (link)
It isn't gay since he sucked my dick.

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[info]mono_blanco
2007-10-22 10:05 pm UTC (link)
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful
Wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...

Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? ...am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
My god!...what have I done?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...

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[info]melchoir
2007-10-22 10:23 pm UTC (link)
Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning

Putty. Putty. Putty.
Green Putty - Grutty Peen.
Grarmpitutty - Morning!
Pridsummer - Grorning Utty!
Discovery..... Oh.
Putty?..... Armpit?
Armpit..... Putty.
Not even a particularly
Nice shade of green.

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